When an IU alum reaches out to the Career and Professional Development department for a career coaching session, we ask them to complete some written questions about their career coaching goal. I am struck by how many people state in this form that they believe their lack of confidence is holding them back from future success. Confidence appears to be this elusive quality – we all want it and we believe everyone else has it. While conducting research for a recent webinar on negotiation, I came across the wonderful, confidence-inducing work of Amy Cuddy in her book, “Presence”, and I’d like to share just a few of her thoughts with you today.
Take a moment, where ever you might be reading this, and pretend you have just crossed the finish line first of the 100 yard dash at the Olympics. Chances are, your arms are above your head in the victory pose. Now, hold that for the next 15 to 30 seconds. Cuddy found that universally, when people win a race – people of any color, ethnicity, and even those who are blind and have never seen this action – they raise their hands above their head in victory. They make their presence larger – they take up more space. Cuddy took this idea of presence – of physical and emotional space, and applied it to the scary and tough scenarios we face in life, whether it be asking for a raise or promotion, entering negotiation, or having a tough conversation.
Presence is feeling personally powerful, being aware of your most sincere self, and accurately and fully representing your ability. A person who is “present,” is no longer worrying about their confidence level because she is fully engaged in the challenge she is facing. A present person believes his own story – he is not anxiously self-criticizing because he believes in what he is asking for and why he deserves it.
Presence sounds pretty terrific, doesn’t it? So, how can you increase your presence? Good news – it neither requires a full-time cheerleader to follow you around nor a laundry list of successes. Cuddy’s research found that we can trick our mind and emotions into confident presence. Good posture, taking up physical space, and holding your chin up not only make you appear more confident – they actually boost your physiological sense of confidence. Your body can trick your mind into true confidence!
What opportunity have you been avoiding because of a confidence gap? Use the writing prompts below to tell your story. Then, strike your power pose, use your presence, and ask.
- What are three words that describe me as an individual?
- What is unique about me that leads to my happiest times and best performances?
- What is a specific time when I was acting in a way that felt natural and right?
- What are my strengths and how do I want to use them?